For some reason, today feels so difficult and exhausting.
I hold my pillow closer as I sit alone in my room,
Holding my phone, my heart, is for some reason, lonely.
The suddenly ringing phone surprises me,
I hear your voice, asking me if I ate today.
Although at times they annoyed me,
today those words feels different.
and all the forgotten promises I've made,
come flooding back to me.

I will become a person with a beautiful heart,
I will become a person that puts others first,
I will fufill the wishes of your love.
The person who I share my dreams with,
the one who used to comb my hair. I think of my mom.

Although at times, I hurt you because of my wrong decisions,
you quietly watched over me from afar.
Although I'm still a young and clumsy child,
I think I understand now, the meaning of your silent prayers.

I will become a person with a beautiful heart,
I will become a person that puts others first,
I will fufill the wishes of your love.
The person who I share my dreams with,
the one who used to comb my hair. I think of my mom.

What should I do, my heart is still so small.
If I let go your hand,
I'm not sure if I can make it without you.
I don't think I'm ready yet, and I'm scared.

I will become a wise daughter, give me courage.
No matter where I go, I will be a daughter you can be proud of.
You've been there for me. I will fufill the wishes of your love,
I'll have a heart that is as warm,
as the unconditional love you've shown me.
I was too shy to express to you clearly. Mom, I truly love you.

-Dear mom,
소녀시대SNSD. ♥

" a simple hug and a simple kiss could brighten up someone's day, just like you've brighten up mine. "

30 July 2010
Magtan & Vanessa never come school. :/
Kangwei and Kenner screwed up chinese lesson. HAAAAA.
ZacEe is full of crap and rubbish. hahahahahah, retarded.
KISSES. dance practice, slacked a lot.
watched basketball match at ish. with Cheena.
she's admiring number 11. HAAAAAAA. mine's number 6. :D
AWESOME. but the coach is not awesome. BLEAH.
homed with Engheng, LOVELOVELOVE.
tireddddd, slept at 9. hohohoho. (LLL) ♥

HELLO PEOPLE! :D
pe today, had great great fun with frisbee.
But got so dirty and muddy. ewww.
iPad is awesome. My aunt has one.
it's like the bigger version of ipodtouch. LOVELOVE.
did use quiz today. At computer lab, haaa. awesome.
went great world. found aunt. shopped.
homeddddd. (LLL)

Floorball preliminary round. AWESOME.
Y.J.E.P.S.K.S.C.M.Z LOVELOVELOVE.
won 2c, 2g, tie with 2f. had fuck lots of fun.
awesome teamplayers, awesome compeitors, awesome scores.
we're in the semi-finals. YAYYYYY.
so awesome-ly happy, had fun in class.
homed with Jeremy, Kenner & Samuel.
full of craps. hahahahahahah.
bought skinnies today. black, grey, purple. haaaaa.
2E HWAITING. (LLL) ♥

" LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE. "

hohoho, tmrw floorball preliminary match. AWESOME.
all the best people, JIAYOU. haaaaaa.
Vanessa caused me sprain my hand during dance practice.
when we were doing cartwheels, retarded. laugh lotslots.
tireddddd, totally restless during dance. I dont want to.
homed. stupid gastric. SCREWWWW.
need to do maths homework. (LLL) ♥

its raining today. AWESOME.
failed maths and literature test. HAAAA.
tionged with Vanessa, homed.
found the track of our syf dance song last year.
awesome, if time could rewind back to the past.
LOVELOVELOVE that dance, I want Miss Goh to come back.
yeah, watched many many many snsd vids.
the 9 ladies spends very less time with their moms, due to their career.
Tiffany's mom left her not long ago. because of cancer.
it was so heart-breaking to see them shed tears. awwwww. Tiffany said,
" Though her mom left her, God gave her 8 wonderful sisters. "
SNSD HWAITING. (LLL) ♥

" think of other people's feelings. words can kill. "

awesome. met Pearlyn, Caroline & Crystal at tiong.
bought pen at popular, shopped a little.
took shuttle bus to Plaza Singapura. found Vanessa.
street sales seemed fun. Walked around.
comicsconnection is awesome. bought manymany things from there.
andand, i bought the snsd filefolder. LOVELOVELOVE.
and snsd badge, and snsd cards. :D HAAAAA.
kfc-ed. homed with Vanessa.
chionging my ih ap homework. suck. (LLL) ♥

HELLO. Im going plazasingapura later. to find vanessa.
LOVELOVELOVELOVE, i want to see how is the street sales.
it sounds so fun luhhhhh. ;D
havent done homework and study. come back must chiong.
haaaaaa. MUACKS. (LLL) ♥

23 July 2010
didnt went for ih ap, pissed with sarifa.
find her after school, take worksheet.
dance practice, went for ndp rehearsal.
with Pearlyn, Crystal, Vanessa. waited for longlong time.
has fuck lots of fun with Mavis, Sangina, Chermin & Zhiwei.
andand, the beautiful melody sang by k-tyn and crystal.
is superduper niceeeee, AWESOME.
went Greatworld with Vanessa, shopped.
bought lots of things a montip. LOVELOVELOVE. :D
went to her house, went so whatthefuck crazy. haaaaa.
VANESSATANYANLING, I LOVELOVELOVE YOU.
yeah, homed. (LLL) ♥

todayyyy, stayed at home. yawns, tireddd.
told mom i'll be going for streetsales tmrw. at plaza singapura.
actually im not going there to sell, but to buy, :D
andand, to find Vanessa, Magtan & Chenyun. hohoho.
so yeah, MUACKS YOU! ♥

raining today. no pe lesson. sianzz.
play frisbee boardgame in class, boreddddd.
i rather go outdoors and play real frisbee. bleah.
passed my science test, hohohoho. :D
free periods for home econs lesson, party-ed in class.
fool around with chenyun and hayley. LOVELOVELOVE!
the NIE teacher came to play with us. guessing games.
i think his name is Mr Ong? he's funnyyyyy.
find vanessa, tionged. saw Zile. rawr.
homed. Gummybears familyyyyy. (LLL) ♥

" you need two hearts to LOVE. "

yawns. class is so fucking bored luh.
stupid auyong. screw you luh.
free periods for art lesson. hohoho.
audition after school, yeah. we got in.
but its a bit screwed up luh. seriously.
Zhiwei, Mavis, Chermin, Sangina performing circus arts.
super cool luh, they're props are so fun.
especially the dabolo, and the spinning plate. super funnnnn.
tionged with Vanessa, homed. (LLL) ♥

" I, my, me, mine "

hello people, now at crystal's house.
awesomeeeee! preparing for tmrw audition.
ohmygosh, goddamn scared.
Pearlyn, Vanessa, Crystal, Joann. jiayou jiayou jiayou!
muackzsxc. (LLL) ♥

longlonglonglong time no post lerh.
mom dont let me go library thing because of fever.
so pissed with her luh, SORRY ENGHENG. :/
met Pearlyn & Zacee at tiong. shopped. :D
so jealous. i want go 125th dinner.
went with Pearlyn to fairmound hotel. super nice luhhhhh!
i wantwantwantwantwantwant to go. ♥
regretted not buying the ticket. hahah. (:
came to Pearlyn's house. practice dance, I my me mine.
(LLL) ♥

" things are not meant to be this way. "

today morning, daddy ZacEe got a lot of nonsense.
V : what starts with A?
Z : Apple, you know, A-P-P-L-E, appleeeee.
V : what starts with F?
Z : Fffff-ish.
J : No, is Fuck.
Z : No, fuck is P-H-U-C-K, its in the category of P.
hahahahahahahahah! :D
saw Pearlyn & Crystal etc on the bus after school.
we were chatting about the awesome chairman.
cut hair. layered, bangs.
argh, i look so retarded. now the fringe cannot clip properly.
screw screw screw screw. but i kinda love it, haaaaaa. :D
Im so so so looking forward for tmrw, reallyyyyy. ♥

" You're my everything, but I'm nothing to you. "

bleah, Engheng reminded me to do homework and study,
early in the morning. BLEAH, tsktsk.
havent get over that awesome dance chairman of mine.
humij never reply. fuck off luh.
changed playlist, watched vids on SNSD's Shanghai concert.
superb luh! how I wish I was there. :/
ohgosh, I wantwantwantwantwant.
They must come to Singapore, someday.
GIRLS'GENERATION HWAITING!
three things to do now, study, study, and study.
LOVES. (LLL) ♥

Oi, spread rumours behind people's back horh. Tell people say I steal, tell teachers to remove me for photoshoot. trying to ruin my reputation. you dance president big fuck? Dont like me right? bring your personal dislikes to dance luh horh? speaking the truth, I dont like you too. Simply, I HATED you to goddamn core. If you say I steal, provide evidence. then I'll be sastified. If you didnt see it with your own eyes, then you have no right to judge. then just huanlo. that time rhapsody, Ms lim came to talk to me. She wanted me to respect you, as a president. I tried, but I simply can't. You don't give me respect, why should I respect you then? Instead, you dont even deserve it. You got enough of it, so am I. I got my facts right, its your turn to get yours right too. you were telling people that you won't put me as the vicechair next year, so? I dont give a damn. dont put dont put luh, as if I CRAVED to be the vice chair. dont think that you're the chairman, you can climb onto our heads. and, its just too obvious that you're not happy because we didnt asked you to perform with us during carnival. bring in your personal stuff into dance, horh? Nah Yiling. Everyone's got a limit, and you've reached mine. I simply just cant stand you, any further. So just fuck off out of my life.

" You're my destiny, my love, my everything. "

19th July 2010
yoongggg.
went for dance, physical training, warmups. as usual.
that sss senior came back. taught us hiphops basic.
moonwalk. haaaaa, kinda fun. others went to train bali dance.
we stood there like some retards. trained rhapsody dance.
fooled around with Xuanyun, she's full of nonsense.
she's ultra-cute. haaaaaa. :D
Mr Auyong extra come chat with us, whatthehell.
after Yiling's craps, dismissed.
Breyl, Xuanyun, Kailing and me waited for pearlyn,
because she's waiting for her baby Zaczac. haaaaa.
dua pai lorh, waited for him for 2 hours.
we keep shouting, full or craps. water fight.
played like whatthefuck. haaaaa, stfu.
ZacEe finally came. homesweethome with Breyl and Xuanyun.
reached home at 8, so drained out.
completed art homework, drew doraemon and carebear. :D
hugged my sketchbook to sleep.

today, stayed at home. got common test next week.
Engheng keep aking me to study. tsktsk.
see my mood first. haaaaaa. (LLL) ♥

" Stand on your feet, spread your wings, learn how to fly. ♥ "

pe lessons, captains ball.
Engheng, Magtan, Yuanzhen, Hayley, Chenyun. fucking fun, ownage.
stupid jeremylum keep stepping on my shoe. HAAAA. :D
home econs, the pancake suck luh.
like eating rubber like that, ewwww.
tionged with magtan, chenyun, engheng, homed.
completed my maths online quiz. finally.
andand, Ms Auyong's lessons are whatthefuck bored.
now i know how good is yohan fendy.
he's in fact, so awesome. (LLL) ♥

recess, i've got mango ice blend. with yuan.
magtan got fed up, because of the prefects.
LOL haaaa, we tried to bring one drink up to class for ben,
but we were caught 3 times by the prefect, whatthehell.
end up the drink was wasted and thrown away, into the toiletbowl.
hahahah, almost got chased by the cleaner aunty.
science lesson is fucking bored luh, issues on sex.
i've got a hard time drawing, during art lesson.
Miss chia is so fierce luh okayy,
she scold for one whole period, then start lesson.
tionged with yuanzhen, made the bearbear sticker. :D
i put my name as Jiaxin. hahahahahahahah.
homed, went to my Aunt's house.
super tired, down with gastric.
but after falling asleep for 3 hours, im okay now.
hahahahahah, im not a pig okayyyy. (LLL) ♥

assembly, principal talk. crap luh.
what gateway thinker and what shit. blah.
went tiong before going for dance. rushing for time.
veryvery first dance practice, its nice to see everyone again.
warmups, stretching, physical training.
leg aching, but its fantastic-awesome. :D
some kind of heart-to-heart talk.
not bad not bad, got a lot of problems with her.
havent settle yet, HAAAAAAAA.
tionged with vanessa, i got my kyungsan sticker.
haaaa, ILOVELOVELOVELOVELOVEIT.
seveneleven's slurpee is awesome, grape soda.
love-a-lot, (LLL) ♥

youth day, for young teenagers like us. :D
the difference between youth day and childrens' day is that,
we get to receive presents on childrens' day. i want i want.
LOL hahah, retardism.
todayy morning, my younger sist wake up goddamn early.
she bite her own hand, and she starts crying, super loudly.
whatthehell luh okay, hahahahah. though its kinda cute. :D
now she's sleeping. finally. got some peace at home.
im waiting for dance practice tmrw, finally. after many weeks.
we've been stone-ing for weeks.
current obsession with hello baby, gakkugk! :D
Cho Kyungsan! you're so fantastic-awesome!

snsd hellobaby. (LLL) ♥

fever dropped, stayed at home.
watched one of jackie chan's past movies. A计划续集
quite nice, behind the scenes super funny.
watched the skits by 2pm and SNSD. live @ MBC gayo festival.
taecyeon & yoona, watch it watch it. ♥


" listen to my heartbeat, listen to my heartbeat. "