Today, PE. Finished my napfa, hopefully I get a gold. Oh gosh, I'm starting to lose confidence in everything. I can't set goals for myself anymore. Everytime things get messed and screwed up, I'm afraid I might fail again. That kind of feeling wereby you've aimed for something, but end up you failed to achieve it, it feels really bad. After school, went to BMSS with sweetheart for dental appointment. Headed to interchange and went home. Lucky tmrw are weekends, I'm seriously worn out.

Thursday, April 7, 2011

X-country, my day was ruined. Eyes swollen, the heart feels like it has dashed into pieces. Joann Yeo, why are you so lousy, why must you stop at that crucial point of time, why must you give up, why can't you hold it on till the end, why must put set a goal that is so high, a goal that you can't possibly achieve, stop looking so highly on yourself. Your friends are superior, you know you aren't fit to be their friend. You couldn't win with them, share their joy with them. You just kept on crying, not only ruined your day, you ruined their's too. WHY ARE YOU SO LOUSY. WHY AM I SO LOUSY. After this incident, I'm afraid to set goals for myself, so afraid that I will fail again. Once bitten, twice shy. Many thoughts flashed through my mind, the WHYs and WHOs. I'm really sorry, Yuanzhen, Magtan, Jiayi, Alicia, Chenyun, Shiling. Before the race starts, we've aimed to go in the top-15 together, all of you did it, but I failed to. Firstly, I feel so useless. Secondly, I'm really sorry, for making you guys worry. but I guess I'm just not up to standard. Thirdly, really thankyouuu. You guys made me feel loved, feel cared. Thankyou for cheering me up, making me feel a lot better, and for those drinks, filled with love. And fourthly, congratulations for achieving your goals. I really feel happy for you guys, who've worked so hard, and finally seeing hard work paid off. Thankyou, I really love you guys, my sister-like friends! ♥ Also, thankyou for the people who cared when they passed by. Your are you okay-s and take care-s, made me felt that at least someone cares for me. ♥ And, not forgetting my sweetheart, sorry for making you worry, and running all the way back to look for me, slowly walk back with me, wiped my tears away, and lifting my minds off those unhappy stuff, cheered me up. You were there when I needed you, thankyou so much for doing all these for me, I love you. ♥